When Hiring, Mix Harvard Nerds

Feminists Do The Best Photoshop Because They Leave The Meat On Your Bones. They Don’t Change Your Size Or Your Skin Color. They Leave In Your Disgusting Knuckles, But They May Take Out Some Armpit Stubble. Not Because They’re Denying Its Existence, But Because They Understand That It’s Okay To Make A Photo Look As If You Were Caught On Your Best Day In The Best Light.

It Was Reported That Guy Ritchie Has Cast His Wife Madonna In A Small Walk-on Role In His New Movie, Revolver. Madonna Will Play The Part Of The Woman Who Ruins The Film.

There's A Drunk Midget In My House Ah, Babies! They're More Than Just Adorable Little Creatures On Whom You Can Blame Your Farts. Like Most People Who Have Had One Baby, I Am An Expert On Everythiing And Will Tell You, Unsolicited, How To Raise Your Kid!

Some People Say, “never Let Them See You Cry.” I Say, If You’re So Mad You Could Just Cry, Then Cry. It Terrifies Everyone.

I'm Not That Good Looking... Nobody Is That Good Looking. I Have Seen A Lot Of Movie Stars, And Maybe Four Are Amazing Looking. The Rest Have A Team Of Gay Guys Who Make It Happen.