When Doctors And Undertakers Meet,

A Woman Drove Me To Drink And I Didn't Even Have The Decency To Thank Her.

I Could Juggle Anything In My Day. Balls, Cigar Boxes, Knives...but There Was One Thing I Could Never Juggle. My Income Tax.

Was I In Here Last Night And Did I Spend A $20 Bill? Oh, Thank Goodness... I Thought I'd Lost It.

My Daughter Wants To Throw A Stone At A Bad Man. I Stop Her From Throwing, Shaking My Head And Giving Her A Little Slap. My Disapproval Is Complete. You Think: 'that's Right, She Shouldn't Throw A Stone Even At A Villain.' Then I Hand Her A Brick To Throw.

If Pigs Had Wings, They Would Be Pigeons.