I Met This Girl, She

There Was A Product On Late Night Tv That You Could Attach To Your Garden Hose - "you Can Water Your Hard-to-reach Plants With This." Who Would Make Their Plants Hard To Reach? That Seems So Very Mean. I Know You Need Water, But I'm Going To Make You Hard To Reach. "think Like A Cactus!"

I Have A Sharpie. I Love Sharpies. You Know What They Say On Them? Not For Letter Writing. That Sucks. Now I Have To Communicate With My Dad Using Numbers.

My Friend Said To Me, You Know What I Like? Mashed Potatoes. I Was Like, Dude, You Have To Give Me Time To Guess. If You're Going To Quiz Me You Have To Insert A Pause.

When You Open The Elevator On The Top Floor Of A Building And The Other Guy Doesn't Get Out, Something Is Seriously Wrong.

Dogs Are Forever In The Push Up Postion.