What If I Couldn't Read?

I Strapped An Mp3 Player To One Of Those Floor-cleaning Robots. Call Him Dj Roomba - Little Guy Cruises Around And Plays Music. What's Hot, Dj Roomba!

I Was A Dishwasher At One Of Those Japanese Places That Cook On Your Table. Not Too Fun.

I'm In A Situation With This Girl That's As Hopeless As Overthrowing The Bush Administration.

Once You Become A Comedian, You Accept That People Are Just Going To Yell Stuff At You.

Regardless Of Your Ethnicity Or Anything, If You Do Great Work, People Will Notice And You'll Get Hired.