What Do I Care If

My Girlfriend Was Just Killed In A Car Accident. Devastating. I Can't Believe I'm Only Going To Have Sex With Her One More Time.

I Come Up With My Jokes By Thinking Of A Topic.

I Had To Break Up With My Last Girlfriend For Lying About Being Raped By Her Neighbor. But I've Met Her Neighbor, He's A Cool Guy. Not Like Her Other Creepy Ass Neighbor Though.

I'm Not A Comedy Writer, I'm A Comedian, So I Only Write Stuff That I Would Want To Say.

I Don't Ever Want To Have Kids Of My Own. But I Do Want A Lot Of Kids.