What Do I Care If

I Had To Break Up With My Last Girlfriend For Lying About Being Raped By Her Neighbor. But I've Met Her Neighbor, He's A Cool Guy. Not Like Her Other Creepy Ass Neighbor Though.

I Was A Weird Kid Because I Liked To Be Alone, But I Craved Attention. It Was Important For Me To Be Cool, But I Couldn't Keep My Mouth Shut. So I Was Either Talking For The Sake Of Talking, Or I Was Curled Up With A Book Somewhere Hiding From Everyone.

I'm Very Arrogant And Mean. I'm Almost Like A Bad Guy Professional Wrestler.

I Like Seeing What The Comedian Thinks Is Funny, Not Just What They Think I'll Think Is Funny.

There Is Nothing That's Off Limits. If People Think Something Is Off Limits, I Make It My Business To Go Make A Joke About It; That's My Job.