What A Dog I Got.

My Family Was A Bunch Of Drunks. When I Was Six I Came Up Missing, They Put My Picture On A Bottle Of Scotch.

I Can't Get No Respect.

One Year They Asked Me To Be Poster Boy - For Birth Control.

I Told My Dentist My Teeth Are Going Yellow. He Told Me To Wear A Brown Tie.

When I Was Born I Brought No Joy, My Father Said He Wanted A Boy!