What A Dog I Got,

When I Was A Kid, I Never Went To Disneyland. My Ol' Man Told Me Mickey Mouse Died In A Cancer Experiment.

I Am The World's Oldest Teenager. I've Never Lost My Youthful Attitude.

My Childhood Was Bad. No Father. Mother Was Greedy And Brought Me Up Awful - Never Made Me Breakfast Once. I Don't Want To Get Started. One Story Is Worse Than Another.

My Wife Has To Be The Worst Cook. I've Got The Only Dog Who Begs For Alka-seltzer.

One Night I Came Home. I Figured, Let My Wife Come On. I'll Play It Cool. Let Her Make The First Move. She Went To Florida.