We've Had The Iron Age,

I Don't Know Why Small Chocolates Are Called Fun-sized; I Mean, If I Called A Midget Fun-sized, They'd Kick Off.

The Poorer People And Criminals Of Mexico Who Are Not Very Religious But Not Quite Atheists, Either, Worship Saint Death.

There Was Some Women In A Café The Other Week That I Was Sat In, And She Came Up And She Sat Down With Her Mate And She Was Talkin' Loudly Goin' On About "oh The Baby's Lovely." They Said It's Got, Er, Lovely Big Eyes, Er, Really Big Hands And Feet. Now That Doesn't Sound Like A Nice Baby To Me. I Felt Like Sayin' It Sounds Like A Frog. But I Thought I Don't Know Her, There's Only So Much You Can Say To A Stranger. I Don't Know What Kept Me From Sayin' It.

She Gave Me The Jabs And Said I Was Covered For Every Worst-case Scenario, Including Being Bitten By A Dirty Chimp. I Told Her This Is Why We Have Over-population Problems. Why Are Idiots Who Annoy Dirty Chimps Being Protected?

By 78 You've Done Everything You're Going To Do. If You Haven't Bungee-jumped By The Time You're 78 You're Not Going To Do It.