We're All Used To Seeing

Begin Your Story With A Sentence That Will Immediately Grab Hold Of Your Listener's Ears Like A Surly Nun In A Catholic School.

I Love Old Cookbooks. I Just Got Such A Kick Out Of Them, How The Color Would Be Way Off Or Fake Looking. The Cook Books Now Look So Much Like Magazines, You'll Never Make Food That Looks Like That. I'd Rather See It The Ugly Way Than They Way They Do It Now.

I'd Just Much Rather See An Ugly Person Take The Trash Out Than See Somebody Really Pretty Taking The Trash Out.

I'm More Of A Clown, A Tragic Clown. Yeah. I Just Like Humor To Come Out Of Characters.

My Kitchen's Pink, Like Skin-tone Pink, And I Lowered My Spice Rack So It's Eye Level - It's True! - And My Phone, So I Can Reach It When I Fall, It's Right There.