Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders Is

After Donald Trump Wrote Lindsey Graham's Cellphone Number On A Piece Of Paper And Showed It To Everybody, Graham Said He's Getting A New Phone. Which Explains Lindsey Graham's Latest Campaign Slogan, 'new Phone, Who Dis?'

Jeb Bush Is Facing Criticism After It Was Just Revealed That He Checked Off His Race As 'hispanic' On A Voter Registration Form Back In 2009. When Asked If He Regrets It Now, Bush Said, 'si.'

Rand Paul Is Officially Running For President. He Even Revealed His Campaign Slogan, Which Is 'defeat The Washington Machine. Unleash The American Dream.' It's Hard To Tell If He's Running For President Or Doing An Infomercial For Bowflex.

Christine O'donnell Released A Commercial In Which She Says, 'i'm Not A Witch.' That's Pretty Good, Though Not As Effective As Her Opponent's Slogan, 'i'm Not Christine O'donnell.'

Republicans In Congress Are Getting Concerned That President Obama Will Try To Use The Final Year Of His Term To Push Through Too Many Controversial Laws. Obama Would've Responded But He Was Busy Drafting His New 'mandatory Mexican Gay Weed' Bill.