Two Wrongs May Not Make

The White House Looked Into A Plan That Would Allow Illegal Immigrants To Stay In The United States. The Plan Called For A Million Mexicans To Marry A Million Of Our Ugliest Citizens.

That Punt Was Higher Than Marion Berry On A Fact-finding Tour Of Cartagena.

America Was Founded By Puritans And Like It Or Not The Anti-pleasure Dogma Of Those Buckled-shoed Killjoys Still Pervades Our Collective Unconscious Like An I-max Shot Of Dennis Franz's Naked Hairy Cop Ass. Hence, Anything Enjoyable Is Automatically Forbidden And Bad And In Our Panic To Avoid It At All Cost We Become Obsessed With It... Like Dressing Up In A Pink Teddy And A Pair Of Ugboots And Repeatedly Screaming The Word 'verboten!' Into A Conk Shell Balanced On The Back On A Miniature Pony... Oh, I See.. That Would Just Be Me.

When I Said 'we', Officer, I Was Referring To Myself, The Four Young Ladies, And, Of Course, The Goat.

He Lasted About As Long As The Dessert Tray At Rosie O'donnell's House.