If Somebody Wants To Shoot

I Had Fun Pretending To Be A Sportscaster. People Always Think That Was A Down Thing For Me. I Had The Best Job In Sports Broadcasting For Two Years.

America May Be The Best Country In The World, But That's Kind Of Like Being The Valedictorian Of Summer School.

Bad Television Is Three Things: A Bullet Train To A Morally Bankrupt Youth, A Slow Spiral Into An Intellectual Void, And Of Course, A Complete Blast To Watch.

I Don't Need To Be Born Again. I Got It Right The First Time.

When Your Mother Starts Using The Word "party" As A Verb About Her Kid, That's Absolutely Crazy.