[to The Critic Who Wrote

Of Course Cocaine Is Not Adictive, Darling. I Should Know, I've Been Doing It For Years.

Television Could Perform A Great Service In Mass Education, But There's No Indication Its Sponsors Have Anything Like This On Their Minds.

There Is Less In This Than Meets The Eye.

Drink Reacts On Its Practitioners In Conflicting Ways. One Brave Can Knock Off A Quart Of Scotch And Look And Act As Sober As Herbert Hoover. Another, After Three Martinis, Makes Two-cushion Carroms Off The Chaise Lounge As He Attempts To Negotiate The Bathroom.

They Say It's The Good Girls Who Keep Diaries. The Bad Girls Never Have The Time. Me, I Just Wanna Live A Life I'm Gonna Remember Even If I Don't Write It Down.