To Remove All Credibility From

There's A Store In My Neighborhood Called Futon World. I Like That Name, 'futon World.' Makes Me Think Of A Magical Place That Gets Less And Less Comfortable Over Time.

I Like Parties, But I Don't Like Piñatas Because The Pinata Promotes Violence Against Flamboyant Animals. Hey, There's A Donkey With Some Pizzazz. Let's Kick Its Ass.

I Find That A Shirt Is Most Similar To A Napkin When I Don't Have A Napkin.

It Feels Like Every Day Or Two, People On Twitter And The Internet Are Outraged About Something.

It Is Illegal To Yell “fire” In A Crowded Theater. If There Is A Fire, Please Yell Something Else Instead, Like “flames!” Or “smoke Maker!” Or “bad Hot!