This Week, A 95-year-old Woman

We Have First Lady Michelle Obama On The Show Tonight. As You'd Expect, Security's Been Pretty Tight. On My Way In I Got Five Pat-downs, And That Was Just From Joe Biden.

'have Fun' Is My Message. Be Silly. You're Allowed To Be Silly. There's Nothing Wrong With It.

Even The White House Is Weighing In On The Deflate-gate Scandal. Yesterday They Encouraged Tom Brady To 'be Mindful Of The Way He Serves As A Role Model.' And Then President Obama Stuffed Out His Cigarette And Went Golfing At Noon On A Weekday.

Joe Biden Went To Brazil In An Effort To Try And Repair America's Relationship With Their Government. Biden Said, 'it's Great To Be Here In The Amazon. I've Always Wanted To See Where All The Books Come From.'

There Are Reports That President Obama And His Family May Move To New York City After His Term Is Over. Unfortunately, The City Is So Expensive, He's Looking For Another Ex-president To Be Roommates With.