This Is What Makes Me

An Economist Is A Man Who Knows A Hundred Ways Of Making Love But Doesn't Know Any Women.

The Best Way To Clean Up A Son's Room Is To Close The Door And Pretend It's Not Part Of The House.

When I Got To The Hospice I Was Under The Impression It Would Be A Two- Or Three-week Stay. But Here I Still Am, Six Weeks Later, And I've Gotten So Well Medicare Won't Pay For Me Anymore.

This Is What Makes Me Happy: Remembering Where I Put My House Keys.

Put Yourself In Hamlet's Shoes. Suppose You Were A Prince, And You Came Back From College To Discover That Your Uncle Had Murdered Your Father And Married Your Mother, And You Fell In Love With A Beautiful Girl And Mistakenly Murdered Her Father, And Then She Went Crazy And Drowned Herself. What Would You Do? Go Back For A Masters?