This Is So Weird. I

I Pride Myself On Being Down-to-earth. I’m From The Midwest. People Who Go Into Show Business Are Screwed Up. I Romanticized About Having A Serene Life.

President Bush Said John Kerry Is On Both Sides Of Every Issue. And Kerry Replied, 'no, I'm Not ... But There Is Some Truth To That.'

I Have A Wonderful Respect For Old People.

There Has Been No Electricity In Baghdad For A Week And The People Are Angry. You Would Be Angry Too If You Couldn't Watch Your Brand New Stolen Tv.

With Iraq Plunging Into Chaos And Gas Prices At Record Highs President Bush Took Time Out This Weekend For A Ride On His Bicycle, But Unfortunately He Fell Off And Sustained Cuts To His Face And Hands. Apparently Bush Was Distracted By The Enormous Responsibilities Of The Presidency. I'm Just Kidding. He Hit Some Gravel Or Something.