President Bush Said John Kerry

I Don't Do Well Around The Angry, Bitter And Emotionally Fragile Among Us, Which May Eliminate 70% Of The Population.

With Iraq Plunging Into Chaos And Gas Prices At Record Highs President Bush Took Time Out This Weekend For A Ride On His Bicycle, But Unfortunately He Fell Off And Sustained Cuts To His Face And Hands. Apparently Bush Was Distracted By The Enormous Responsibilities Of The Presidency. I'm Just Kidding. He Hit Some Gravel Or Something.

In Louisiana, President Bush Met With Over 15,000 National Guard Troops. Here's The Weird Part, Nobody Remembers Seeing Him There.

President Bush Has Delivered A New Resolution To The U.n. Saying That Saddam Has Failed To Cooperate With U.n. Resolutions, Freeing Us To Get Our War On. Don't Mess With Us France, Or We'll Send Jerry Lewis To Iraq As A Human Shield.

Boeing Is Working On An Invisible Fighter Jet So Nobody Can See Who's Flying It. Didn't George Bush Fly This In The National Guard, I Believe?