Think Of It As Angelina

I Wore A Groove In The Kitchen Floor With Endless Trips To The Fridge, Hoping Against Hope That I Had Somehow Missed A Plateful Of Cold Sausages On The Previous 4,000 Excursions. Then, For No Obvious Reason, I Decided To Buy A Footstool.

I'm A Horse Of A Man!

Supercars Are Supposed To Run Over Arthur Scargill And Then Run Over Him Again For Good Measure. They Are Designed To Melt Ice Caps, Kill The Poor, Poison The Water Table, Destroy The Ozone Layer, Decimate Indigenous Wildlife, Recapture The Falkland Islands And Turn The Entire Third World Into A Huge Uninhabitable Desert, All That Before They Nicked All The Oil In The World.

Some Say He Never Blinks, And That He Roams Around The Woods At Night Foraging For Wolves. All We Know Is He’s Called The Stig.

Asking The Front Wheels Of A Car To Do Their Normal Job Of Steering While Handling More Than 170 Is Like Asking A Man To Wire A Plug While Juggling. Penguins. While Making Love. To A Beautiful Woman While On Fire, On Stage. In Front Of The Queen. It's All Going To Go Wrong.