All This Health And Safety

Sometimes I Stagger Even Myself With My Genius.

Racing Cars Which Have Been Converted For Road Use Never Really Work. It's Like Making A Hard Core Adult Film, And Then Editing It So That It Can Be Shown In British Hotels. You'd Just End Up With A Sort Of Half Hour Close Up Of Some Bloke's Sweaty Face.

I Wore A Groove In The Kitchen Floor With Endless Trips To The Fridge, Hoping Against Hope That I Had Somehow Missed A Plateful Of Cold Sausages On The Previous 4,000 Excursions. Then, For No Obvious Reason, I Decided To Buy A Footstool.

They Are By Far The Worst Drivers. They Are Spiteful, Dithering, Old And In The Way. They Should Have Their Licences Taken Away.

Think Of It As Angelina Jolie. You’ve Heard She’s Mad And Eats Nothing But Wallpaper Paste. But You Would, Wouldn’t You?