They're Not The Sharpest People

We Have Such A Long, Familiar History With Peter Falk. The Minute His Mug Is On That Screen People Smile.

New Parents Always Sound Like Hucksters In A Pyramid Scheme. Anyone Who Has Kids And Then Gets You To Go And Have Kids Gets A Check From Huckster Headquarters.

When You Get Busy, The Priorities Change. In Your Twenties, You Hang Out With Who You Were In School With. Then You Grow Up And You Hang Out With The People You're Playing Ball With, Things You Like Doing With. When You Get Married, It Changes A Bit And You Lose Some Friends, Or You Gain Other Friends. You Gain Couple-y Friends. It Changes Again When You Have Children, And Then When Your Children Are The Focus Of Your Life.

When People Talk About Wanting To Have Children Someday, What They Really Mean Is That They Want Babies. Nobody Wants An Angry Adolescent. Nobody Wants An Obnoxious Seven-year-old Trying To Wear Out Dirty Words They Just Learned In School That Day. What They Really Want Is Cute, Adorable Babies Who Love You And Need You. The Bad Stuff Is Just The Price You Agree To Pay For Having The Good Stuff.

There's Something Very Refreshing About Being On Stage.