They Say Hot Dogs Can

We Are In A Code Orange. Homeland Security Said Earlier Today That Everyone Should Have A Roll Of Duct Tape And Plastic Sheeting To Protect Your House In Event Of Terrorist Attacks. Who Came Up With This Idea? Macgyver?

You Know, Something Like 90 People Who Have Now Filed To Run For Governor In This Recall Election. They Say There Could Be As Many As 200 People On The Ballot. You Know, It's Really Easy To Run Here In California. All You Need Is Like A Couple Of Signatures, Not Many, Thirty-five Hundred Bucks, You're On The Ballot, Like That. I Mean, What Does It Say About California? We Have Stricter Requirements To Get On 'american Idol' Than We Do To Run For Governor.

Howard Dean Announced Today He Will Campaign In Seven States. The States Are Rage, Frenzy, Fury, Rath, Fever, Agitation, And Delirium. Yeeeeaaaah!

With High Definition Tv, Everything Looks Bigger And Wider. Kind Of Like Going To Your 25th High School Reunion.

John Kerry Speaks French Fluently. Democrats Are Saying He's One In A Million. A War Hero Who Speaks French, Isn't It More Like One In A Trillion?