They're Saying President Obama Doesn't

I Think I Might Have A Bad Psychic Advisor. When I Asked Her To Contact The Dead, She Gave Me Keith Richards' Phone Number.

Everyone Has This Sense Of Togetherness Right Now. For Example, One Guy On The Subway Today, He Wanted To Share My Pants.

I Vote Democrat Because I Believe The Government Will Do A Better Job Of Spending The Money I Earn Than I Would.

The World's Oldest Woman Passed Away At 116. They Keep Dying. I Think That Title May Be Cursed.

I Heard Doctors Revived A Man Who Had Been Dead For 4-1/2 Minutes. When They Asked Him What It Was Like Being Dead, He Said It Was Like Listening To Yankees Announcer Phil Rizzuto During A Rain Delay.