They Call It 'surfing' The

If I've Inadvertently Become Some Sort Of Role Model For Failed Comedians, Then It's Really Backfired Very Badly On Me.

In My Local Newspaper, They Had This Advert: 'please Look After Your Neighbours In The Cold Weather'. I Live Next Door To This 84-year-old Woman, And Do You Know, Not Once Has She Come Round To See If I'm All Right. The Lazy Cow Hasn't Even Taken Her Milk In For A Fortnight.

I Really Like Rustic Mediterranean Cooking. And I Like Trying Out Curry Takeaways.

One Of My Friends Went On A Murder Weekend, Now He Is Doing Life For It.

I Was On Various Anti-depressants, But Not For Long - I Didn't Function Very Well On Them. I Felt Sort Of Flattened Out.