These Pretzels Are Making Me

Let's Face It, The Human Body Is Like A Condominium Apartment. The Thing That Keeps You Really Enjoying It Is The Maintenance. There's A Tremendous Amount Of Daily, Weekly, Monthly And Yearly Work That Has To Be Done. From Showering To Open Heart Surgery, We're Always Doing Something To Ourselves. If Your Body Was A Used Car, You Wouldn't Buy It.

The Hardest Thing In Comedy Is To Have The Biggest Laugh At The End, And It’s The Most Satisfying Thing.

Looking At Cleavage Is Like Looking At The Sun. You Don't Stare At It, It's Too Risky. You Get A Sense Of It And Then You Look Away.

Yeah, Like Bizarro Superman, Superman's Exact Opposite, Who Lives In The Backwards Bizarro World. Up Is Down, Down Is Up, He Says Hello When He Leaves, Goodbye When He Arrives.

Success Is The Enemy Of Comedy.