There's Something Rotten In The

Almost Anything Can Be Improved With The Addition Of Bacon.

We Were Developing A Machine That Used Egg White, Heat And Sugar To Synthesize Methanol When A Power Surge Caused An Implosion. Owens Was Meringued. By The Time We Chipped Him Out The Poor Chap Had Expired.

Whereas Story Is Processed In The Mind In A Straightforward Manner, Poetry Bypasses Rational Thought And Goes Straight To The Limbic System And Lights It Up Like A Brushfire. It's The Crack Cocaine Of The Literary World.

Pretend To Be Mad And Talk A Lot. Then — And This Is The Important Bit — Do Nothing At All Until You Absolutely Have To And Then Make Sure Everyone Dies.

Okay, This Is The Wisdom. First, Time Spent On Reconnaissanse Is Never Wasted. Second, Almost Anything Can Be Improved With The Addition Of Bacon. And Finally, There Is No Problem On Earth That Can't Be Ameliorated By A Hot Bath And A Cup Of Tea.