There Is No Defense Against

You Really Have To Be Some Kind Of A Creep For A Dog To Reject You.

My First Baseman Is George "catfish" Metkovich From Our 1952 Pittsburgh Pirates Team, Which Lost 112 Games. After A Terrible Series Against The New York Giants, In Which Our Center Fielder Made Three Throwing Errors And Let Two Balls Get Through His Legs, Manager Billy Meyer Pleaded, "can Somebody Think Of Something To Help Us Win A Game?" "i'd Like To Make A Suggestion," Metkovich Said. "on Any Ball Hit To Center Field, Let's Just Let It Roll To See If It Might Go Foul."

One Thing You Learned As A Cubs Fan: When You Bought You Ticket, You Could Bank On Seeing The Bottom Of The Ninth.

I Know A Baseball Star Who Wouldn't Report The Theft Of His Wife's Credit Cards Because The Thief Spends Less Than She Does.

Being Traded Is Like Celebrating Your 100th Birthday. It Might Not Be The Happiest Occasion In The World, But Consider The Alternative.