There Are Two Seasons In

The Desire To Be A Politician Should Bar You For Life From Ever Being One.

I Love Scotland And I Speak About It A Lot, So People Think I'm Desperate To Go Back. They Just Take It Upon Themselves To Say I'm Going Back, But I'm Not. I'd Rather Concentrate On Becoming A Citizen Of The World.

I'm A Big Fan Of The Mars Bar Diet. You Don't Eat The Mars Bar, You Stick It Up Your Arse And Let A Rottweiler Chase You Home.

I've Always Wanted To Go To Switzerland To See What The Army Does With Those Wee Red Knives.

I Don't Like The Beach. I Think We Have No Business At The Beach At All, As A Species. We Don't Belong In The Sea. The Sea Is Full Of Things That Bite Us, Sting Us, Hurt The Soles Of Our Feet, And It's Extremely Cold. When Are We Gonna Take The Hint That The Things That Live In The Sea Don't Like Us?