There Are Two Kinds Of

If You Drink Enough Beer, Everything Turns In To A Bed.

I Don't Usually Fly In First Class, But I Fart In First Class.

I Wonder How They Deal With Mice At Disney World.

Swimming Is A Confusing Sport, Because Sometimes You Do It For Fun, And Other Times You Do It To Not Die. And When I'm Swimming, Sometimes I'm Not Sure Which One It Is.

I Call It 'new Forms'. When You're Starting Out, They Ask You To Do Four Or Five Minute Sets, But Once You're A Headliner, You Do Like 90 Minutes. I Try To Think Of Different Things To Divvy Up The Show, Like Doing Drawings, Playing Music... I Gotta Carry The Show, That's The Problem.