There Are Many Comedians Who

We Have Women In The Military, But They Don't Put Us In The Front Lines. They Don't Know If We Can Fight, If We Can Kill. I Think We Can. All The General Has To Do Is Walk Over To The Women And Say, 'you See The Enemy Over There? They Say You Look Fat In Those Uniforms.'

I Didn't Get A High School Diploma. I Really Didn't Have Much Of An Education, Which Left Me Open To Educating Myself Throughout My Life, Without The Limitations On Intellectual Curiosity A Formal Education Can Impose. I Followed What Interested Me.

Turkeys Know Their Names, Come When You Call, And Are Totally Affectionate. They're Better Than Teenagers.

When I Was Growing Up In Comedy, There Were Maybe 10 Comics In The Whole Country. Everyone Had A Day Job. You Worked Free For Years In Little Clubs, Then You Got Your Big Break And Became A Star.

There Are Many Comedians Who Are Afraid To Work Outside The Coasts And The Casinos Because They're Afraid They'll Bomb.