The World Isn't Fair, But

The Source Of All Unhappiness Is Other People. As Soon As You Learn To Think Of Other People As Noisy Furniture, The Sooner You Will Be Happy. - Wally's Keynote Speech

Highly Intelligent And Well-informed People Disagree On Every Political Issue. Therefore, Intelligence And Knowledge Are Useless For Making Decisions, Because If Any Of That Stuff Helped, Then All The Smart People Would Have The Same Opinions. So Use Your "gut Instinct" To Make Voting Choices. That Is Exactly Like Being Clueless, But With The Added Advantage That You'll Feel As If Your Random Vote Preserved Democracy.

In Japan, Employees Occasionally Work Themselves To Death. It’s Called Karoshi. I Don’t Want That To Happen To Anybody In My Department. The Trick Is To Take A Break As Soon As You See A Bright Light And Hear Dead Relatives Beckon.

Why Aren't You Signed Up For The 401k? I'd Never Be Able To Run That Far.

Swing Your Partner, Dosey-do, Now Clap Your Hands... Uh-oh, That's All The Square Dance Moves I Know... I'll Bluff The Rest. Slap Your Partner In The Face, Write Bad Checks All Over The Place, Flirt With Strangers, Annoy Your Spouse, Get A Divorce And Lose Your House, ...uh... Dosey-do.