The Way I Understand It,

I Saw A Psychologist Once Because I Thought I Had Depression. It Cost Me $100. When I Left, I Realised That There's Nothing He Could Have Said That Would Cheer Me Up As Much As If I Found A $100 Bill On My Way Home.

When I Went To College, My Parents Threw A Going Away Party For Me, According To The Letter.

I Was Walking Down The Street. Something Caught My Eye, And Dragged It Fifteen Feet.

A Computer Once Beat Me At Chess, But It Was No Match For Me At Kick Boxing.

You Don't Appreciate A Lot Of Stuff In School Until You Get Older. Little Things Like Being Spanked Every Day By A Middle-aged Woman: Stuff You Pay Good Money For In Later Life.