The Trick To Writing For

I Have Yet To See One Of Those Comedy Central Shows With Multiple Standup Comics That Doesn't Include Someone The Size Of The Hindenburg.

There Should Be Three Days A Week When No One Is Allowed To Say: 'what's Your Sign?' Violators Would Have Their Copies Of Kahlil Gibran Confiscated.

Statistically, I'd Say Comedy Writers Are Perhaps The Sanest Category Of Show People. And Why Not? They Make Big Money, And Although It's Not An Easy Trade - Particularly When You're At Your Galley Oar Five Days A Week - It's Easier On The Nerves And The Psyche Than Living With The Brain-squeezing Pressure And Cares Of Being The Star.

I Like When The Ice Gets Thin, The Going Gets Rough, The Guests Get Edgy.

In Relative Youth, We Assume We'll Remember Everything. Someone Should Urge The Young To Think Otherwise.