Every Student Of Comedy Should

There Were Several Things A Yale Freshman Was Supposed To Be Able To Do. You Had To Demonstrate In The Olympic-size Yale Pool That You Could Swim 50 Yards Or Be Inducted Into Swimming Class.

My Iq Is Somewhere Between Spiro Agnew's And Albert Einstein's.

I Think We Live In An Age Of Increasing Mediocrity.

All Three Of My Parents - I Also Had A Stepmother - Were Teachers, And My Dad Taught High School, And As He Always Reminded Me When I Was Going To Spend Some Money On Something, 'your Mother And I, In The Depression, Had To Decide Whether To Spend A Dime On A Loaf Of Bread Or If We Could Go To A Movie With It.'

Music Bypasses The Brain And Goes Straight To The Heart. I Wish My Life Had More Of It.