The Simple Combination Of Letters

The Simple Combination Of Letters And Sounds You Select As A Name For Your Baby Can Result In A Life Of Carefree Coolness Or Decades Of Expensive Therapy. Hi, I'm Jake Versus Hi, I'm... Tapioca

They're Not The Sharpest People - Babies. So, You Must Be Everything To Them.

Jerry Lewis Played On The Very First Season Of Mad About You, And He Played Basically Himself, But He Was Called Some Other Name. He Said He's Never Done It; He'd Never Done A Half-hour Of [sitcom] Television. This Was 1992 Or '93. And I Said, "well How Is That?" And He Goes, "nobody Ever Asked Me." It's Like The Pretty Girl At The Dance; Everybody's Too Afraid To Ask.

The First Time I Tried To Put A New Diaper On My Baby, I Yanked The Little Velcro Strap Too Jerkily And Actually Punched The Little Guy In The Jaw. A Real Solid Shot, Too. I Knew Instinctively That This Could Not Be Correct. Unless You're Specifically Trying To Raise A Welterweight, Continual Deliverance Of Powerful Uppercuts Is Not Advised When Handling Newborns.

I've Come To Realize That Making It Your Life's Work To Be Different Than Your Parents Is Not Only Hard To Do, It's A Dumb Idea. Not Everything We Found Fault With Was Necessarily Wrong; We Were Right, For Example, To Resent, As Kids, Being Told When To Go To Bed. We'd Be Equally Wrong, As Parents, To Let Our Kids Stay Up All Night. To Throw Out All The Tools Of Parenting Just Because Our Parents Used Them Would Be Like Making Yourself Speak English Without Using Ten Letters Of The Alphabet; It's Hard To Do.