The Real Question Is Should

In Indiana, I Wasn't Anything Special. But In New York, I've Gone Out With Girls With Purple Hair Who Go Out With Me Because I'm Exotic!

Other People's Children's Birthday Parties Are The Most Joyful Events You Will Ever Resent Having To Attend.

Stand-up Is So Rewarding, And I Enjoy The Acting Opportunities I've Had, But The Only Time I Really Feel Bad Is When I Feel Like I Have This Manufactured Belief That I Should Be Doing Something Else Or There Should Be Some Type Of Recognition. On An Intellectual Level, I Know It's Stupid.

When People Look And Decide They Have Nothing In Common With Me - I'm 43, Balding, Blond, Whatever - There's Something Absolutely Invigorating About Winning Them Over. Even If It's Eight People From Sweden Who Don't Understand What I'm Talking About.

I Believe That Comedians Do What They Do, And Then They Get Credit Or Criticism For Doing It. There's Nothing Planned About This.