The Promises We Break Are

Ignorance Is Better Than Knowledge Misapplied.

Last Christmas, I Got The Worst Gift A Guy Ever Gave Me. He Gave Me A Lottery Ticket... What's The Guy Even Thinking There. Here You Go... Nothing! Merry Christmas! It's Nothing!

I'm Not Gay, So I Don't Know Much About Broadway Musicals.

There Are Two Indiscretions That Generally Distinguish Fools: A Readiness To Report Whatever They Hear, And A Practice Of Communicating With Secrecy What Is Commonly Understood.

All My Life's About Is Cracking Up People And Them Cracking Me Up And Trying Not To Think About Dying. That Doesn't Cost Very Much Money.