The Powder Is Mixed With

The Best Things In Life Aren't Things.

Writing Humor In My Column Isn't As Dangerous As Performing It. If I Fail In Front Of A Live Audience, The Humiliation Is As Great As Anything A Human Being Can Suffer.

Put Yourself In Hamlet's Shoes. Suppose You Were A Prince, And You Came Back From College To Discover That Your Uncle Had Murdered Your Father And Married Your Mother, And You Fell In Love With A Beautiful Girl And Mistakenly Murdered Her Father, And Then She Went Crazy And Drowned Herself. What Would You Do? Go Back For A Masters?

Don't Commit Suicide, Because You Might Change Your Mind Two Weeks Later.

Every Time You Think Television Has Hit Its Lowest Ebb, A New Program Comes Along To Make You Wonder Where You Thought The Ebb Was.