The Only Thing A Lawyer

Never Try To Impress A Woman, Because If You Do She'll Expect You To Keep Up The Standard For The Rest Of Your Life.

In Every Big City There Is Always One Surefire Laugh, And That Lies In Hanging Some Piece Of Idiocy Upon The People Of A Nearby City Or Town.

I Don't Have To Attend Every Argument I'm Invited To.

I've Been Asked If I Ever Get The Dts. I Don't Know. It's Hard To Tell Where Hollywood Ends And The Dts Begin.

Marry An Outdoors Woman. Then If You Throw Her Out Into The Yard On A Cold Night, She Can Still Survive.