The Only People Who Like

People Say History Is Boring, And That Is True Because People Are Boring. We Haven't Changed Since Time Began. We're Still The Same.

I Would Say Most Comedians Have A Very Cynical Worldview Of The Way The World Can Work. It's Almost Like If You Didn't, You Couldn't Be A Comedian.

People's - Most People's Job Is Talking About The Future Or Like Money Not Even In The Present Tense. It's Not Even Paper.

The Earth Is A Used Kleenex On The Universe's Nightstand.

The Mistake That People Make In Stand-up Is Thinking They're Profound Or They're Deep When There Are So Many People Who Have More Worthwhile Ways Of Phrasing Things.