The Only Honest Art Form

Once You Sleep On Feathers You Can't Go Back To Sleeping On The Floor.

The Only Honest Art Form Is Laughter, Comedy. You Can't Fake It... Try To Fake Three Laughs In An Hour - Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha - They'll Take You Away, Man. You Can't.

Satire Is Tragedy Plus Time.

The American Constitution Was Not Written To Protect Criminals; It Was Written To Protect The Government From Becoming Criminals.

The Reason I'm In This Business, I Assume All Performers Are -- It's Look At Me, Ma! It's Acceptance, You Know -- Look At Me, Ma, Look At Me, Ma, Look At Me, Ma. And If Your Mother Watches, You'll Show Off Till You're Exhausted; But If Your Mother Goes, Ptshew!