The Nicest Present I Ever

When I Was 10, I Beat Up The School Bully. His Arms Were In Casts. That's What Gave Me The Courage.

I Go To Pick Up A Girl In A Bar. I Say Will You Go Home With Me? She Says I Don't Know, Do You Have Cable? I Say No, But The Rope Should Work Just Fine.

I Was Walking Down The Street. Something Caught My Eye, And Dragged It Fifteen Feet.

Lord Please Break The Laws Of The Universe For My Convenience. Amen.

They Call Me Good Time Emo. Because I Love A Good Time! And My Name Is Emo.