The Nice Thing About Southerners

Americans Respect Talent Only Insofar As It Leads To Fame, And We Reserve Our Most Fervent Admiration For Famous People Who Destroy Their Lives As Well As Their Talent. The Fatal Flaws Of Elvis, Judy, And Marilyn Register Much Higher On Our National Applause Meter Than Their Living Achievements. In Amerca, Talent Is Merely A Tool For Becoming Famous In Life So You Can Become More Famous In Death - Where All Are Equal.

The Joker In The Deck Of Lesbian Fidelity Is Female Vanity: No Woman Of Fifty Is Going To Undress In Front Of A Woman Of Twenty No Matter How Much She Might Lust For Her.

Kings And Queens Might Do Wicked Things, But They Don't Nag. One Thing I Like About Bloody Mary: She Never Said A Word About Lung Cancer.

In Other Countries, Congenital Introverts Simply Remain Introverts All Their Lives, Neither Advancing Nor Retreating, But America's Commitment To Extroversion As A National Art Form Can Abrade Some Naturally Aloof Personalities Until They Flower Into Deadly Nightshade.

Americans Worship Creativity The Way They Worship Physical Beauty - As A Way Of Enjoying Elitism Without Guilt: God Did It.