The New York Times Has

I Guess You Heard About This; The U.s. Olympic Committee Is Coming Under Fire After It Was Revealed That The Uniforms For Team Usa To Be Worn In The Opening Ceremony Were Made In China. Turns Out They Were Made By Some Of The Same Kids Who Could Beat Us In Gymnastics. That's The Worst Part.

President Obama Told A Group Of School Children That Broccoli Was His Favorite Food, And They Believed Him. Then He Told Them Obamacare Would Reduce The Deficit And The Kids All Busted Out Laughing.

A Jury Found Former Enron Sleezeballs Ken Lay And Jeff Skilling Guilty Of Fraud And Conspiracy. Ken Lay? That's Not A Good Name To Have When You're Going To Prison. And Kenny Boy Ain't Too Good Either. ... I Guess In Prison They'll Have Done To Them What They Did To The Stockholders.

President Bush Was In Los Angeles Yesterday Where He Announced His New Campaign Theme - “safer, Stronger, And Tested.” Isn't That A Condom Ad?

Magic Johnson, Former Basketball Player, May Run For Mayor Of L.a. In The Next Election. Remember The Good 'ol Days When Only Qualified People Ran For Office Like Actors And Professional Wrestlers.