The Main Thing Going On

By Regarding Ourselves With Kindness, We Begin To Dissolve The Identity Of An Isolated, Deficient Self. This Creates The Grounds For Including Others In An Unconditionally Loving Heart.

Somewhere In My Early Twenties I Realized I Was Pretty Constantly Monitoring Myself, Judging How I Was Always Falling Short, Whether It Was About Not Being A Good Enough Daughter Or Friend, Or My Appearance, Or Whatever. I Ended Up Becoming Involved With A Spiritual Path In The Yogic Tradition, Living In An Ashram, Doing A Very Rigorous Spiritual Practice.

If [kids] Get Into Loving Relationships, They're Afraid They'll Be Found Wanting, Won't Have The Looks Or Body Shape Our Culture Deems Worthy. Many Of Us Feel We're Falling Short And If We Start Feeling Close To Another Person, That We'll Be Found Out And Rejected.

When Desire For A Certain Person's Attention Becomes An "i Have To Have" Kind Of Grasping, Then Identity Gets Organized Around Needing That And It Becomes Very Solid And Sticky. That Causes Suffering Because We're Not Inhabiting The Fullness Of Who We Are, We're Fixated And Contracted On Life Being A Certain Way.

In Any Moment, No Matter How Lost We Feel, We Can Take Refuge In Presence And Love. We Need Only Pause, Breathe, And Open To The Experience Of Aliveness Within Us. In That Wakeful Openness, We Come Home To The Peace And Freedom Of Our Natural Awareness.