The Jewel In The Baby

I Always Loved Comedy, But I Never Knew It Was Something You Could Learn To Do. I Always Thought That Some People Are Born Comedians ... Just Like Some People Are Born Dentists.

I Used To Walk Into A Party And Scan The Room For Attractive Women. Now I Look For Women To Hold My Baby So I Can Eat Potato Salad Sitting Down.

Nothing Would Make Me Happier If Peter Falk Would Finally Win His Oscar For This. Not Just As The Writer But As A Fan And A Friend. It Would Be So Great

So Where Did These Cravings Come From? I Concluded It's The Baby Ordering In. Prenatal Takeout. Even Without Ever Being In A Restaurant, Fetuses Develop Remarkably Discerning Palates, And They Are Not Shy About Demanding What They Want. If They Get A Hankering, They Just Pick Up The Umbilical Cord And Call. 'you Know What Would Taste Good Right Now? A Cheeseburger, Large Fries, And A Vanilla Shake. And If You Could, Hurry It Up, Because I'm Supposed To Grow A Lung In A Half Hour.'

Get A Good Dog. We Have Not Picked Up Food In The Kitchen In 15 Years.