The Essays Are Different Because

Saying You Like "piano Man" Doesn't Mean You Like Billy Joel; It Means You're Willing To Go To A Piano Bar If There's Nothing Else To Do

The Villain Is The Person Who Knows The Most But Cares The Least.

Soccer Is Like Punk Rock: The Product Is Not Necessarily Terrible. The Problem Is The Fan Base.

We Assume That All Statements Must Be Mild Inversions Of The Truth, Because It's Too Weird To Imagine People Who Aren't Casually Lying, Pretty Much All The Time.

I Love The Way Music Inside A Car Makes You Feel Invisible; If You Plan The Stereo At Max Volume, It's Almost Like The Other People Can't See Into Your Vehicle. It Tints Your Windows, Somehow.