The Dreadful Truth Is That

The Next Tory Leader Would Have To Unify His Party And Ensure That Britain Stood Tall In The World.

Nothing Excites Compassion, In Friend And Foe Alike, As Much As The Sight Of You Ker-splonked On The Tarmac With Your Propeller Buried Six Feet Under.

I Want You To Know That I Have Nothing Against Orlando, Though You Are, Of Course, Far More Likely To Get Shot Or Robbed There Than In London.

I Cant Remember What My Line On Drugs Is. Whats My Line On Drugs?

I Want To Offer Particular Congratulations To Andrea Leadsom On Her Stunning Achievement. She Is Now Well Placed To Win And Replace The Absurd Gloom In Some Quarters With A Positive, Confident And Optimistic Approach, Not Just To Europe, But To Government All Round.