I Would Ban Sweets From

I Want To Win And I Want To Be In Office.

I'd Like Thousands Of Schools As Good As The One I Went To, Eton.

I Don't Believe That Economic Equality Is Possible; Indeed Some Measure Of Inequality Is Essential For The Spirit Of Envy And Keeping Up With The Joneses That Is, Like Greed, A Valuable Spur To Economic Activity.

It Is Said That The Queen Has Come To Love The Commonwealth, Partly Because It Supplies Her With Regular Cheering Crowds Of Flag-waving Picaninnies; And One Can Imagine That Blair, Twice Victor Abroad But Enmired At Home, Is Similarly Seduced By Foreign Politeness. They Say He Is Shortly Off To The Congo. No Doubt The Ak47s Will Fall Silent, And The Pangas Will Stop Their Hacking Of Human Flesh, And The Tribal Warriors Will All Break Out In Watermelon Smiles To See The Big White Chief Touch Down In His Big White British Taxpayer-funded Bird.

If We Judged Everybody By The Stupid, Unguarded Things They Blurt Out To Their Nearest And Dearest, Then We Wouldn't Ever Get Anywhere.