The Biggest Problem I Had

I Think The [new England] Patriots' Season Should Have An Asterisk Next To It Because Everything They're Accomplishing Is Against Teams Coached By People Other Than Me.

I Mean, Personally, I Would Have Had No Problem Surviving. Come On, How Hard Is It To Swim?

I'm Always Being Told By Directors That I Add Chemistry To Scenes, So I Mean How Difficult Could It Be?

I Know Every Politician Spins The Truth A Little.

When I Think About The Holidays, I Think About The Salvation Army Guys Ringing Bells In Front Of Stores. They're Always So Nice To You And They're Always Willing To Give A Heart To Heart Conversation. They Actually Bear The Winter Cold To Ask For Your Petty Cash With A Smile On Their Face. Fudge Those Guys.